She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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