I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm passing your future prison.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
