If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
