I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
