That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
