i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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