Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
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Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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