I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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