I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
