Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
