More tranny stories later!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
