i wish peter jackson would direct porn
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
