You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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