found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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