It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
