He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
