remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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