I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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