He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
