She is in my trunk
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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