if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
