So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
