I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
