just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you have to choose: penises or morals?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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