Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
