Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
