before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
