She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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