I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
