oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
where am i from again
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
