My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
