nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize