I'm jealous of your bromance
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
