yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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