we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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