sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
