I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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