he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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