Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
whose ass print is on the piano?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
