Porn is love you can see.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
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You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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