I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
