I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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