i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
