I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
