y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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