he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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