i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize