i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
