i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
