I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
