You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
