Your face is a jimmy john
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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