I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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