I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dicks are not precious.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...