Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just found the deal breaker
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.