Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer