I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
