honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
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I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.