then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
