From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
