i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
