Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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