What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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