Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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